The reading for this morning's meeting was from the Twelfth Tradition which emphasizes the importance of the humility that we achieve through the practice of anonymity; in fact, it says quite explicitly that anonymity is the spiritual foundation of all the Traditions. That's quite a mandate. It reminds me of the section of Step Twelve where we're reminded that we need to try to practice these spiritual principles in all of our affairs. This means that all of the assholes that you're going to run into today should get the same consideration and kindness as the people you love the best. I'm struck by how often the concept of "humility" comes up in our literature; in the Steps and the Traditions both. We must not be very humble people by nature.
Here's a new twist on the Humility definition: "Acknowledging that I'm not always right." Whew, that's going to stick in my craw all day. I've had enough trouble with having a "Modest view of my own importance." That's still sticking in my craw - it's too big for my craw and it's lodged in there sideways to boot.
The anonymity part always makes me laugh. It reminds me that after I got sober no one - not a single person - questioned why I had decided to get sober. They said things like "Thank God you're finally getting some help." I guess people who walked by me passed out on a cold basement floor didn't wonder if that was healthy behavior or not. I guess Earth People make it into bed each night or at least doze off on the couch. Maybe a carpeted living room floor on a rare occasion, but never on concrete or cement and never on concrete or cement that was outside.
One of my little girlfriends talked about showing up at work in a good mood every day and that this was in large part because she goes to a meeting before she shows up at work. Yesterday, I had a crown replaced. Not the crown I wear most of the time because I think I'm King All That, but a crown on one of my molars. The work was painless, thanks to King Novocaine, but the result was a little dicey. I may have to have a root canal at some point to remedy the destruction; moreover, I had to slap down a credit card for $1700. That's a shit-ton of money in my opinion but as I left the office with my grotesquely swollen upper lip I was in as good a mood as when I entered. I'm glad for a good dentist; I'm glad for a repairable condition; and I'm glad that I have $1700 to keep my mouth healthy. I realize that a big percentage of our population probably has to forego this work - I didn't give it a second thought. God had given me an extra $1700 to put into my checking account and now He wants it back. Seems fair to me.
Then, off to the Tax Man to pick up my 2020 tax return. Last year I faced a hefty tax bill so I walked into his office with some trepidation. This year I got a refund! But the bill was almost $500 - this pissed me off that our tax code is so complicated that your average genius like me can't do his own taxes - which was almost as much as the refund we're going to get! Even Steven! I was in a pretty good mood when I got to the office and I was in a pretty good mood when I left. The result was like so many others in my life - better than I expected but not as good as I want. Seems awfully fair to me.
It think God was kind of fucking around with me yesterday.
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