An Inside Job

Wretched: Very miserable; feeling deep affliction or distress.

Entering A.A. it was hard to visualize a goal beyond that of wretched abstinence.  A.A. offered sobriety, but there were strings attached.  It came in a spiritual package that some of us refused to accept.  That was not surprising as we had been in conflict with God’s will for many years.  Talking with older members, we were advised to stop taking ourselves too seriously and to acquaint ourselves with the program before we started rewriting it.

(I wouldn't call this book funny. It's very serious, sometimes dour and pious, rarely amusing. But I like the line "acquaint ourselves with the program before we started rewriting it. Hoo Boy, that's pretty funny. And this is something that most of us do, even after some significant sobriety. Every time I've moved I've tried to sway the attitudes of the members to do it the way we used to do in the last city, forgetting that I used to bitch a blue streak about how they used to do it there. Hoo Boy, am I an ass.

This idea that our lives are in shambles because we are directly opposed to God and his will can be a tough one to handle. Complaints about The Program from new people not interested in doing the work - in other words, all of us - often mention reliance on God or a Higher Power as a big sticking point. Fair enough. It can be tough to swallow. So if you don't like how we're doing it keep doing it your way. No one is holding a gun to your head. We're not trying to reinvent the wheel here and maybe you've got a better plan, although long experience with alcoholism makes us doubt that. Frankly, the idea that things don't go well when we try to jam the world into a form of our own liking shouldn't be that radical or upsetting; the idea that service to others and to a Greater Purpose in our lives is going to help us be more contented seems like a slam dunk to me, something that is inherent in the being of most people.)

Occasionally members assume a sense of false security from sober periods, gained through group association, but without spiritual help.  We call this the free ride.  (But wait! There's more!) The combination of God’s help, plus group association, supercharges our necessary growth.

It takes no mastermind to determine the source of power we draw upon in arresting our alcoholism.  Evidence of a spiritual change in our lives can be detected in almost every thought and act.  

(From “Our Spiritual Friend” in the Big Book): “God produces harmony in those who receive His Spirit and follow Its dictates.  Today when I become more harmonized within, I become more in tune with all of God’s wonderful creation.  There are disturbances, but I have learned that if I seek patience and open-mindedness, understanding comes . . . and the joy of living that is not disturbed by circumstance or by people around me.”

It's an inside job. Let that outside stuff alone.