Thursday, October 8, 2020

I Admit Nothing While Conceding Everything

  Will:  To want or to choose; a person's determination, choice, or desire in a particular situation.

Willpower: Control exerted to do something or restrain impulses.

Admit:  To concede as true; to acknowledge or assent to, as an allegation it is impossible to deny.  (Concede means to yield or to make a concession . . . so when we're "admitting" we're powerless there is a strong whiff of begrudging resistance - we're not doing anything willingly, even in that oh-so-crucial First Step.)

I enjoy the visual of "restraining impulses."  That was me: all impulse and no restraint.  If I wanted to do it I did it - and immediately because I didn't want to have to listen to that part of my brain that was wondering if this was such a good idea.

"We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives had become unmanageable." 

"I know nothing!  I know nottttthhhhhing!!"  Sergeant Schultz

I'm noodling these forces of will and willpower.  The concepts are very interesting.  The idea that I have to make choices and exert myself while understanding that the outcomes are not something that I can control and should be something that I accept, especially as I continue to see that I'm going to be well taken care of in the long run.

In the short run?  That can get a little dicey.




No comments: