Anyway, we rely on volunteers to open the doors and make coffee, loosely run the meetings, and clean up afterwards. We call this Service Work, or You Do It Because I Don't Want To. Here in Vacation City we have an individual who serves as the secretary of each of the seven morning meetings. The secretary hands out readings and gets a leader each day, someone who speaks briefly to establish a topic.
Here's my problem: the commitment is for the period of one year. I've never lived anywhere that had a position last more than 12 weeks (12 Steps - get it?) and most places figure a month is long enough. I've always believed - and it's my personal experience - that commitments get people involved in the meetings, sometimes serving as an unofficial cattle prod to encourage regular attendance so these incredibly long time frames mean that only seven people get to serve over the course of a year. That's not too many people for a group that probably has a hundred regular members.
So I get the bright idea to bring up at our monthly business meeting the suggestion that we pare this back to 3 months. I do this with full knowledge that it won't go anywhere even though it's a brilliant idea. Most people are resistant to change and alcoholics absolutely loath it. We could be sitting in a burning building, debating whether or not to leave, and half the group would want to table the idea until everyone got all of their skin burned off.
I was at dinner with three of my closer friends in recovery here - men who have Programs that I respect, thoughtful, open-minded men. As we wrapped things up I thought: "Why don't I float a trial balloon here to get a feel for how virulent the opposition will be in the official business meeting?"
Well, it didn't go very well. In fact, I managed to generate a little less than 0% support for the idea. I mean there wasn't the slightest whiff of support for the idea. I believe the comments began to take on a dismissive, mocking tone - the guys seemed to be enjoying the piling on process. Granted, I hold my opinions in high regard and don't like to be mocked openly but still. The general consensus seemed to be that I wanted to take on a service position but didn't want to commit to a whole year which wasn't the point at all. I was forced into a defensive posture immediately and had to defend my turf against an unrelenting attack, which made me aggressive which means I got pissed and started to counterattack, employing exaggeration and prevarication as my primary means of defense.
The problem with someone like me, an analytical, linear, arrogant person, is that I think my ideas are irreproachably brilliant and I really struggle when my idea is the better . . . you know . . . idea. A group of recovery experts could hold a three day conference on why 7 service positions per year is better than 28 service positions per year without ever getting me on board.
Anyway, the business meeting in on Saturday and I'm not going. :(
Actually, I was glad for the feedback. Nobody wants to be told how to fix something that's working just fine.
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