Delusional Seaweed

Delusion:  A false belief that is resistant to confrontation with actual facts.

I'm a typical guy.  I have a typical totally delusional impression that women view me in a certain light.  I'm delusional but not stupid - I realize that I make my best impression when the lights are turned off, leaving me in complete darkness.  I know that I'm invisible to any human female who's under say 35 if by "35" you mean "45."  Fair enough - I'm old.  I get it.  I was pretty much invisible to these women when I still had black hair and a lot less wrinkles and liver spots and such than I do now.

Still, I'm pretty sure that when I blow into a room I turn some heads.  I'm just sayin'.

One evening at my dad's retirement home - where the average age, the average age of the residents appears to be one hundred and forty-three - I was joined at the banks of elevators by a woman who lives there.  We had some time to talk - the doors on the elevators are programmed to give a little more time to the little less spry.

"So . . . are you a new resident?" she asked at one point.

I did laugh out loud.  I take myself way too seriously but not nearly as seriously as I used to.