What If Grandmother is a Mean Drunk?

Over the causeway and through the red light,
To Grandmother's condo we go;
The car is old,
My wife has a cold,
The kids are a pain in the ass, oh!

(Editor's note -- I'm not in the mode to try to come up with rhymes today -- I have to spend the day with my in-laws).

Over the causeway and through a stop sign,
To Grandmother's trailer we go;
She's a drunken hag,
My mother's a nag,
My sister's another no-show, oh!

Over the causeway and off of the road,
To Grandmother's nursing home;
She's throwing a fit,
My daughter's a bitch,
The turkey's under-cooked, oh!

Over the causeway and into a tree,
To Grandmother's funeral home;
It couldn't be worse,
Unless I get drunk,
On this Thanksgiving Day.

Actually, my day will be just fine. I hope that yours will be, too. But if it isn't that's OK. Don't get drunk. You'll get through it. It's just another day. Maybe if you're a Pilgrim or an Indian living in Massachusetts it would be different. Probably not. I bet there were Pilgrims sneaking off to have some moonshine.