An Elaborate Scam

Promise: An oral or written agreement to do or not to do something; vow.


I was very excited when I first heard about The Promises. If I was going to give up my long standing relationship with my true love -- alcohol -- and quit cheating with my hot mistress -- drugs -- I had high expectations of a pretty dramatic payoff. Promises to me meant that I was going to get what I had always wanted to get. I was looking for big houses and powerful jobs, willing sex partners, and exotic Italian sports cars. I graciously agreed to accept a German model if it was absolutely necessary.


I couldn't believe the crap that showed up in the book. I had to read the text a couple of times. My jaw dropped. I groaned. I even drooled a little bit. I paged forward, scanning the book for the real promises. No more drugs and alcohol, and the reckoning is a sense of purpose? Lack of self-interest? Relationships with God and my fellow man?

Holy shit, what a scam. These people must be the greatest salesmen in the world. They think they can get me to give up drinking just so God can start doing for me what I can't do for myself. I didn't need God to do anything except start delivering the goods.