By The Glass or By The Bottle

I feel like a weirdo malcontent when I decline wine or beer.  It's not that easy getting something to drink other than the standard still or sparkling water and even then you're most likely to get still water no matter what you order because the sparkle of the sparkling water is muted at best.  I feel like pointing out that there should be some fucking BUBBLES in sparkling water.  Sometimes we order a can of soda water - it can show up warm and unopened, still in the can, dropped off dismissively as if it was something offensive; sometimes it's a warm can accompanied by a glass of ice; but most often a partial can poured into said glass of ice before it makes to the table.  Someone ought to explain the chemical reaction that happens when a warm beverage is poured into a glass of ice; that the ice melts quickly and dilutes the drink; and that the drink is then less appealing. 

Probably, as a non-drinker, I'm a cruiser deadbeat, like someone who pays off their credit card each month without accumulating any fees or interest charges.  Which is what I do.  I'm guessing the people who buy the drink packages are subsidizing the rest of us.  The cheapest package is a whopping forty dollars per day per person.  That's eighty bucks a day for two people which is an astounding twenty five hundred dollars for a thirty day cruise.  If you want an unlimited top shelf package you can double that.  Five grand.  Five thousand dollars.  Unbelievable.  I'm an alcoholic and I think that's unbelievable and if I was still drinking I'd make those fuckers lose money on my package.  This is probably why you see old people drinking two glasses of wine at lunch just to get the party started.  I’m an alcoholic and if I had two glasses of wine at lunch I'd either have to go sleep somewhere or use it as an accelerant for a day-long binge.    

Despite the twelve hundred passengers onboard we're amused/amazed/appalled that no one besides yours truly have shown up the last two days for the scheduled, non-hosted onboard AA meeting.  The constant presence of alcohol whenever we're not in our room is a bit annoying especially given that we're stuck in this recurring sea day cycle due to inclement weather, political unrest, and quarantine restrictions. I've never felt like drinking but I'm becoming increasingly aware of the presence of alcohol. If everyone walked around naked on the ship it would start to become less shocking and more quotidian. Eh, maybe not, given the girth and heft of some of these people but you get the point. Maybe not. I get the point which is that the alcohol being front and center is annoying after a while. I've been on a ship where alcohol is included and this pisses me off because I'm subsidizing the drinkers. And I've been on a ship where the alcohol costs cash money and this pisses me off because the staff is incentivized to push alcohol.

As you can see I'm easily pissed off.