The Middle Way

Buddhism talks of the concept of the Middle Way, a way not based on an aversion to the world, nor on attachment, but a way based on inclusion and compassion.  Alcoholics Anonymous talks of this same concept but promotes the idea of balance, of getting in the middle instead of living on the ragged edge of All or Nothing, full acceleration or useless idling.  I need to quit thinking about good or bad.  I need to slow down when it's time to idle and speed up when it's time to get somewhere.  I don't think most humans are geared this way and I'm sure as shit not made to sit in the middle.

Buddhism also suggests that each of us find a type of spiritual practice we find helpful and then to stick with it.  I'm not geared this way, either, preferring to jump from this to that or go from here to there.  Fast, really fast!  I find myself pondering what needs to be done or how anything that's already done can be improved.  I get a lot done but I don't enjoy my accomplishments as much as I should because I'm always looking further down the road.  There isn't shit down there, anyhow.  It's all right here.

I am still chuckling at my current experiment where I break my day down into hour long segments or - better yet - half hour increments and then briefly jot down what I did during that segment.  I cannot believe how jumpy I am.  I'm here and there, I'm all over the place,  and I can't sit down for fifteen minutes without changing my mind and bouncing from task to task, doing a lot of things but none of them very well.  I'm also surprised at how resistant I am to enjoying what it is I'm - you know - actually doing because I'm thinking of all the stuff - stuff that doesn't amount to a hill of beans in the long run - that I think I need to get done.  I feel incomplete if I don't finish something that isn't very important.  I am trying to concentrate on that Cherokee saying that suggests that soon we will sit in the sun all day and be happy that we can sit in the sun all day and be happy.  What a beautiful sentiment!  And so appropriate during the middling days of Autumn when we get to enjoy sunny but not hot days and cool but not freeze-your-ass-off-cold nights and the sun!  The angle of its rays dropping down to the Southern horizon instead of parking itself right straight above.