Look at Me! Look at Me! Why Aren't You Still Looking at Me?

Twelfth Tradition again: "If even one member got drunk or was lured into using A.A.'s name for his own purposes, the damage might be irreparable.  Moved by the spirit of anonymity, we try to give up our natural desires for personal distinction as A.A. members both among fellow alcoholics and before the general public.  We are sure that humility, expressed by anonymity, is the greatest safeguard that Alcoholics Anonymous can ever have."

I am blown away every time I consider this idea that anonymity is an expression of spirituality and the greatest safeguard we have for the continued existence of this spiritual movement.  And I'm not altogether sure why this surprises me so much.  The thought of doing some good, extending some kindness, without the need for recognition or repayment in the future makes perfect sense for the growth of my personal self-esteem and sense of self-worth.  Otherwise, my life is transactional.  Doing a nice thing for the acclaim or in anticipation of payment of some kind - cash, time, effort - is not really spirituality at all.  It's a fungible entity.  I've mentioned before the time that I anonymously bought a subscription to The Grapevine - our meeting in print or electronica - and was dismayed to hear this dude give the credit to someone else.  I was out $12 and didn't even get an atta boy.  It was a great lesson in ego deflation for me, and one that really kick-started my deeper dive into spirituality.