Reasons. Not Excuses.

We seldom do anything with great joy.  Most of us are animated only when it serves a purpose and not because of a genuine enthusiasm.  We're too full  of ifs and oughts to find reasons to rejoice.  Sometimes a change can jar us into an awareness of life, and that life is intended to be much simpler than what we make it out to be.  If only we can move out of fear and be able to enjoy life minute by minute.

I have no friends from college or any places of employment pre-recovery.  That's a solid twelve years.  That's a long period of time to develop some relationships and it's an amazing fact that I was not able to develop any at all.  I was busy for much of this time but not that busy.  I'm out of the Excuses business and into the Reasons business and the reason is this: I was drinking and using.  By myself much of the time and when I was with people I was still by myself, more or less, the goal always being to get away from these people so I could drink and use.  While I admit to being a liar and an embellisher and exaggerator I am not making this up.