Sunday, November 6, 2022

2/4 or 4/4 or Wild Improvisation?

 There's a dude that attends my regular meeting who has been sober over 40 years.  Like many of us he marches to his own weird, abstract drummer.  We don't have a lot of people that march to normal, 2/4 beat drummers.  There's a lot of improvisation going on.  Every few years he goes on a hiatus from Alcoholics Anonymous, as in: no meetings at all.  He doesn't stop a recovery program, he just stays out of The Rooms.  Personally, I never thought this was a great idea.  It might work for him but I never liked the suggestion that not attending A.A. was the best idea for most of us.  

A few years ago I grabbed him after a meeting to get a more in-depth take on his strategy.  His belief is that A.A. can become a mindless time-filler for him, a habit without much depth to it, where he isn't paying close attention to the substance of the meetings.  I started to get a better understanding at where he was coming from.  I mean . . . I can read How It Works in a meeting while I'm holding an internal discussion with myself.  I'm not paying any attention at all to the text I'm reading.

On these two long trips where I had no access to meetings I found that my mind relaxed without the time constraints of the whole meeting experience.  I picked up new habits, I worked on different things, I had time for activities that may have been helping me grow spiritually, mentally, emotionally because I wasn't tied in to this routine of sitting in meetings that had become increasingly rote and uninspiring and consequently frustrating and unfulfilling.  

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