No Credit Cards? Barbaric!

So our trip from Saigon to Chiang Mai takes us through Bangkok.  We're on Asiana Air.  I've never heard of this airline but they had the lowest price which is, of course, the most important thing to consider before getting on a supersonic jet flying at an altitude of seven miles.  I really don't care if they wreck a lot of planes or have like an 85% hijacking rate as long as I don't have to spend too much money to be wedged into a seat fit for a contortionist.

Because we're no longer in Vietnam I don't have any of their money left - the Dong for those of us who think that kind of stuff is funny - and because we haven't got to Thailand yet I don't have any of their money, either - the Baht which isn't as funny but is still pretty funny.  On the plane I find out Asiana is a low-cost carrier.  Whatever.  Don't crash and let me pee if I want to and I'm good to go.  

When the food tray comes around I decide to order some food off of the huge menu they provide. I understand I have to pay for this food.  Cheap seats = buy your own $%## food.  I order some noodles and hand her my credit card.  No credit cards.  Cash only.

"I don't have any cash," I said. "I've been in Vietnam and we're going to Thailand.  Where am I going to get money?  Is there an ATM on the plane?"

"I'm so sorry," the attendant says.

I'm also thirsty but water is not free, either.

We land in the international terminal, shuttle through a maze-like warren of corridors, clear immigration, and are barfed into the domestic terminal for the final leg of the flight.  Short on time, I flash into a 7-11 and load up on drinks, food, and snacks.  The kid runs it all through the scanner, filling two bags up, and then looks at me blankly when I hand him my credit card.

"I'm sorry but we only take cash," he says.

I'm starting to get miffed.  I walk the terminal, stopping in every fucking shop and restaurant in the whole thing - including MAC Donalds, Pizza Hut, and Burger King, food I normally wouldn't feed a dog - and NOBODY takes credit.  This is the domestic terminal of the largest city and capital of an entire country.  Finally, finally, we get to buy two weird mushroom pastry puff things at Starbucks.  These are wolfed.

I want to tell someone about this, that it's stupid.  They undoubtedly want to hear this from me.  They are eager to hear my opinion about why I had to stand in line at immigration for 45 minutes only to hear a very nice immigration agent say: "Why have you been standing here?  You could have just gone through and got your luggage."  They're looking for good reasons to throw people into jail.  I recall the phrase "restraint of tongue and pen."  It is a powerful and useful phrase.  For instance, right now I'm in a comfortable condominium and not in jail.  This is a good thing.