Miracle or Oracle?

Miracle: An action or event that apparently contradicts known scientific laws and is hence thought to be due to supernatural causes, especially to an act of God.

I don't know. I think this is an overused word in The Fellowship. I don't think my recovery is a miracle, to be honest with you. I think that the fact that I do any work to try to stay sober is the miracle. I think the miracle occurred when I decided to do something about my drinking and starting getting in my car and driving to meetings. Picking up the phone to call another guy in recovery is an action contradicting known scientific laws.

This is not meant to imply that I don't give God a lot of credit for pointing me in the right direction. This Program is indeed miraculous. The fact that I am staying sober one day at a time is not. It's the result of a lot of diligent hard work done on a daily basis, rain or shine, whether I want to do the work or not. God showed me the way and then told me to get moving. To the best of my knowledge God has never driven me to a meeting or set my alarm clock for half an hour before I want to get up so that I can have a quiet time.

Ten percent inspiration and ninety percent perspiration.

Sales 101

How important am I, really? To be honest about it, I'm very important. Remarkably important. I am certainly more important that everyone gives me credit for. I labor along, achieving great things, spreading my particular brand of joy and warmth and amazingness wherever I go, only to find that these efforts are consistently overlooked. They are willfully ignored by some of the truly egotistical and self-centered people out there. I should get an award every day -- a big reward -- for everything that I do.

Important: Having, or acting as if having, power, authority, influence, high position, etc.

For most of my tortured, spotty work life I have earned my living as a salesman. For many years I adorned my business cards with flowery euphemisms. I was an Account Manager or a Territory Manager, despite the fact that I couldn't manage my own life. I was a Sales Engineer, even though I have no educational or work experience in engineering and couldn't engineer my way out of a wet paper bag. I'm sure I fooled everyone. Some dude shows up at the front door with sales brochures, dressed like a salesman, and launches into a sales pitch -- who would think this dude is a salesman?

Life isn't that complicated. Most of us live quiet lives out of the spotlight. We should try to accept this. We should fill our time with small kindnesses and tender mercies. We are lucky to be where we are. We are lucky that we haven't gotten what we really deserve.

Actually, I like being a salesman. It allows me to goof off pretty much of the time.

I Should Do What Now?

Attract: To get the admiration, attention, etc. of; allure.

I love the concept of "attraction, not promotion." It is one of the tenets of The Program that I found irresistible almost immediately. No one tried to get me to stop to drinking. No one wagged their finger in my face. I wasn't presented with any stunningly obvious facts about the problems that alcohol was causing in my life. It doesn't do any good to tell someone sitting in jail for assault and battery on a police officer that they have to stop drinking, or else. I knew I was a drunk. I didn't need any confirmation of that clear truth.

Our book tells us that alcoholics are incredibly immature. That this offends us simply confirms the truth of the statement. If you tell me to do something -"Horseface, don't stick your screwdriver in that 440 Volt electric outlet" - my tendency is to do it. The best rationale for my motive is "spite." I can't come up with anything more logical than that. I do, however, watch people closely. If I see someone behave in a way that I like, I mimic them. What can I say? I have the emotional development of an eight year old.

Don't tell me what to do.