Perspective, Man

I'm actually pretty happy with my reaction to my back troubles.  I do OK with emotional and mental discomfort.  I'm competent when it comes to letting the troubles of the world wash over me, roll off my back, but physical pain has always been a bugaboo and this from a guy who has been blessed with incredible physical health.  I take care of myself - I eat right and exercise and get enough rest/sleep - but some of this has to be chalked up to good genes and the luck of the draw and a blessing from my higher power.  Never been in the hospital in sobriety, don't take any medication, not managing any debilitating conditions or diseases. 

Think I'm grateful about all of this?  Meh.  Sometimes.  Intermittently.  Comes and goes.  Mostly goes.  Mostly goes to a distant land and assumes a fake identity so I can't fucking find it unless I hire a whole team of private detectives.  Gratitude doesn't come easily to me.  I have to check off all of my blessings mentally every morning and I'm often surprised at how robust the list is.  And I have to tweak it so that I'm actively grateful for all of the stuff.  A friend texted me a Gratitude List the other day which was full of du jour gifts not just the big ones that are usually present.

I have always loved the flip side of our AA coin: To Thine Own Self Be True.  Interestingly enough the first recorded instance of this phrase can befound in Shakespeare's play "Hamlet."  Bill and Bob plagiarizing again.  I'm never going to be a Happy Go Lucky kind of guy.  I'm a serious dude with a serious temperament.  Water doesn't roll off my back like rain on a duck - it sticks there with Super Glue-like intensity.  It's welded on there, man.

Perspective:  To think about a situation or a problem in a wise and reasonable way; to compare something to other things so that it can be accurately and fairly judged.

I'm really, really trying to take the Long View, to see the Big Picture.  I enjoy the image of my spirit floating up above my body and watch Little Stevie navigate the world.  It allows me to see how insignificant I really am and how little control I have over the affairs of the world.  

Perspective, man.