One More Success Story

 Charming:  Delightful in a playful way which avoids responsibility or seriousness, as if attracting through a magical charm.

There was this young guy who attended meetings with us when we were still renting a house here, trying to decide whether to make a permanent move or not.  I liked him a lot - he was bright and friendly and charming and totally full of shit. 

"I don't think he gets what we're trying to do here," I said to SuperK.  He was trying to skate through recovery on the basis of charm and personality and good intentions.  We all think we're fooling the long-timers when we first come in but we're almost never accomplishing this.  Bullshit is easy to spot, especially in newcomers who are mostly composed of bullshit and when the spotters are former bullshit-spotters who are expert in bullshit-spotting.  It's like a child who believes she's come up with a new way to fool the clueless parent.

Sure enough off he went for a brief period of research.  "Finishing up our lead" is how we put it.  He came back in, went to work on The Steps with vigor and success, and drifted out of my immediate orbit due to geographical reasons.

"I knew the man by name and partly recognized his features, but there all resemblance ended.  From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance.  I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before. " BB P. XXXI.

I now see him on a regular basis in a morning Zoom meeting.  After the first time I heard him speak I said to SuperK: "I think he's got it."  It's not at all hard to tell when someone is truly trying to live a recovery life on a spiritual basis.  Just like bullshit oozes out of a person's personality so does spirituality.  He looks bright and colorful, and he sparkles with humility and honesty.  It literally pours off his being.   

It's an amazing thing to experience.  There are so many failures in A.A. and not because of a systemic fault in The Program but because it's so goddam hard to put down the alcohol and drugs and start to do the hard work of recovery.  I'm glad I'm around to see these things.