Meditation: A practice in which an individual trains the mind and/or induces a mode of consciousness to realize some benefit, although it can be argued that meditation is a goal in and of itself.

Meditation helps free me from the obsession of self.  It helps me to stop thinking about me, a Herculean task of Sisyphean proportions.

I frequently confuse being productive with being busy.  I can stay busy.  I can go out into the backyard and dig a large hole, then fill it back in.  This would keep me busy although I would hardly call it productive, unless of course I was looking for something in the large hole, didn't find it, and then realized I'm renting so I better fill the $#!! hole back up.  Or I thought hole-digging would be good exercise or more likely, I went into the backyard to get my shoes, which I put out there for some reason that I can no longer remember, forgot what I was doing, saw a shovel, and began digging randomly.  I would look up with a confused look on my face when SuperK would lean out and say:" What are you doing, dear?"

Work is a nice cover for productivity.  So is child-rearing.  I'm not saying those things aren't good or productive, just that they take up big chunks of time, chunks of fixed time.  It easy to split a day up into go to work, work until lunch, eat lunch, work until quitting time, go home.  That's a day.  But when those things stop or are taken away, what then?

I regret nothing.  I move forward and things work out the way I want them to, or they don't.  All I can do is move forward. I'm not in charge of what happens when I get wherever I end up.  I try to remember that the effort is up to me but the results are up to god.