Da Phone

I make a lot of phone calls.  Most of the time I'm doing OK when I make the call and a lot of the time I get hold of someone who isn't doing as well as I am.  This is what we call a symbiotic relationship - listening to someone else talk through a problem really helps me, usually a lot more than it helps the person who is getting something off their chest.  It's amazing to feel like I'm being helpful.  It didn't happen much when I was drinking.  I didn't ever care about anyone then - now I usually don't care about most people, a big improvement even though it may not seem like one.  It's the old adage about taking an interest in someone else to everyone's benefit.  I forget this on a daily basis.  I'm worried about me and I don't care about you but when I pretend I care about you then I find I actually start caring about you and then I feel great.    I have to start out pretending that I care before I can work up any actual caring.

I got a call from a friend yesterday that I call regularly but who doesn't often call me.  I had left a few messages but hadn't heard back from a few other guys and I needed to talk a bit.  My buddy was doing well, better than I was, so I got to talk.  I don't talk all that much.

I bet it helped him more than it helped me.