Relapse

Relapse:  To fall back into illness after recovery or seeming recovery.


The woman who chaired the meeting this morning had many, many years of sobriety and then she drank again.  She was Out There for about 6 months before coming Back In.  Fortunately, she didn't do too much in the way of permanent damage, not always the case when we go Back Out.  I need to hear from people who are sober for a long time and then drink again, lest I do the same thing myself.  The longer I'm sober the more impressed I am with the length of my own sobriety, as if that meant much beyond the fact that I haven't had anything to drink and I haven't died.   It's an indicator of a good Program but not a guarantee as to the quality of my sobriety.  It's the quality that matters after all.  One guy brought up the difference between The Fellowship and The Program.  The Fellowship is a critical part of my sobriety but if I'm not working The Program I'm sliding around on a slippery slope.


I did notice that she talked a lot about how long she had been sober.  She repeated the year count many, many times.  I'm a little uneasy when I hear people do that.  I'm under the impression that she wanted us all to know how many years she had.  She also talked a lot about how bedeviled she was by an avalanche of bad things that happened in the lead up to the first drink.  She didn't identify any of the bad things but she definitely gave the impression that there were a whole lot of them and that they were really, really bad.  I'm a little uneasy when I hear people do that, too.  It suggests to me that there exists a particular set of circumstances that can make me drink, something I don't think is true.  A lot of people who shared during the course of the meeting talked about bad things that had happened to them, too.  This is why a good chairperson is so important.  A good chairperson sets the tone of the meeting.


I need all of you.  Each and every one.