Courage

I heard this definition again today: "Courage isn't the absence of fear but the ability to continue on in spite of it."  And in conjunction with the belief that "Pain is the touchstone of all spiritual growth" we're led inexorably to "One Day at a Time."  The fact for us is that I have all the power and strength I need to meet whatever comes my way today but if I retreat into the past or go future-tripping then I'm on my own.

I try to practice the theory that I don't know what's in my best interest.  I know what I want (more money, more power, more sex) and what I'd like to avoid (pain, discomfort, more pain whether it be of the physical, mental, or emotional variety) but I don't know what's going to be best for me in the long run.  I live in a box of time and space and cannot see what's up ahead.

The Big Book story we read today was about a man at the top of his profession who lost everything but then got it all back.  I enjoy an inspiring story as much as the next person but I'm also careful not to buy into the idea that this is inevitable.  It often happens but sometimes - when we've burned bridges and then bombed the rubble and hired a heavy equipment operator to push the rubble down a mine shaft or into the ocean - we don't get things back.  I was kicked out of a university and they never invited me back to resume my education and I lost that job that meant so much to me and that I was so bad at and didn't really enjoy.  Painful when it was actually happening but everything worked out OK in the long run.  I can see in retrospect that it was the best outcome for me but at the time I screamed in misery.