Compromise

So here's what I've taken away so far . . . 

People are eager to help and share their experience.  I had a buddy tell me once: "Ask a favor - make a friend."  Sort of reminds me of being thanked by a newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous for listening to some long tale of woe.  I cannot explain how great this makes me feel, how thankful I am that I'm able to focus on something besides myself for a few minutes, how amazing a gift to think that I might be easing the path for someone else be passing on some hard-earned personal experience. 

Older folks are generally pretty happy.  They're certainly more accepting than I am.  I don't think I've talked to anyone that I'd consider miserable or confrontational.  Now, I'm not an idiot - I know there are plenty of older folks who have serious problems that make them miserable, people that I'm less likely to run into on my goings to and fro.  Nobody I talked to has cancer or has lost a limb to diabetes or is blind.  I'm guessing those people wouldn't be so cheery.  There's a fitness class in the pool here at my senior citizen complex and I've never heard so much giggling and carrying on - it sounds like a pool party for prepubescent children - and, trust me, some of the participants don't look to be in fine mettle.

Nobody - Nobody!! - has told me I'm getting out of this pain-free.  Nobody.  They will commiserate.  They help me lessen my load because they have gone through/are going through what I'm experiencing.  Sometimes the best thing I can say to someone is:" I know what you're going through."

They offer solutions.  Try this stretch or change your diet to this or do this exercise.  They don't insist - they suggest.

They stress that the biggest hurdle to overcome is the mental/emotional one.  "It's a state of mind.

Compromise:  Accept standards that are lower than is desirable.

I did talk to my park Jewish mother yesterday who is 84, by the way.  She pretty much let me have it.  She pretty much wasn't interested in my excuses.  I loved it.  I hugged her and told her I loved her.