A Funny Thing Happened on the Way to the Forum

So here's something funny that happened to me . . . 

My parents have been talking smack about coming out to visit relatives close to where we're staying.  My mother is a big smack talker in these matters but she doesn't usually follow up her smack with action.  If you're going to be guarding the star receiver in The Big Game you don't want to talk to the newspapers about how he isn't going to do squat against you unless you're pretty good.  Smack talkers should back up their talk or they look foolish indeed.  I've learned not to call my mother on her smack - it isn't worth it and it isn't an example of Being of Service.  Saying "there's no WAY you're coming out here" doesn't make anyone feel good.  Instead I try to be pleasant and agreeable.  This isn't offensive to anyone and I feel better about myself, the only person that I really care about.

Currently I'm renting a small one bedroom cottage.  I'd like to have a two bedroom place - and a Ferrari in the garage - but I'm saving a lot of money by sticking to the one bedroom.  When mom was hinting that she would like to stay with us when she allegedly visits I was able to play pretty good defense with the one bedroom deflection.  That, and the cat that's she allergic to unless it's my sister's cat which she doesn't have any problems with, what with the grandchildren and all.  I hinted back that we'd be happy to go with the extra bedroom if she wanted to kick in the extra money but that went nowhere fast.  She seemed miffed that I hadn't rented a bigger place just in case she wanted to visit.  I'm that way, too, about spending other people's money.  It doesn't offend me at all or put a dent in my wallet.

SuperK and I found a two bedroom place in a less desirable area for the second half of our vacation so I called my mother to let her know she had a bed if she came out.  The woman booked plane tickets in twelve nanoseconds.  The woman was moving.  I like my parents fine but the thought of the four of us in a two bedroom cottage is . . . ahem . . . daunting.  I'm out in the future enduring all kinds of tragedies already.  A new guy I talked to suggested that maybe I shouldn't live in the future.  When the new guys are scoring off of you it's not a good sign.

But I haven't been to The Old City in a good little while and the weather here is a LOT nicer than it is back there.  My parents like to do things that are always done, whether they like to do them or not.  You know, turkey at Thanksgiving and a Christmas ham even if you don't like turkey or ham.  They think it's time to get together.  They want to come out - not my dad, of course, but my mom does - so I can buck up for a few days.  I've offloaded some of the helpful children things on my younger sister, who lives near my folks, so I can surely do this thing.

Be careful what you ask for.