Mountain Lions!

So I took a long hike today in the mountains about 15 miles from where I'm staying.  My cousin didn't want me to go alone - pretty good advice, actually, which means I totally ignored it.  She's concerned about mountain lions.  I guess she thinks that if more than one person is around then the mountain lions won't attack.  I don't know why that would be the case.  I didn't have the heart to tell her that if she and I were attacked by mountain lions that I would slather her in barbecue sauce and serve her to the mountain lions on fine bone china,  all the while running like hell in the opposite direction.  Plus, I'm pretty sure that mountain lions are nocturnal and that there weren't ANY FUCKING MOUNTAIN LIONS AROUND!

Rattlesnakes, bears, and the ubiquitous mountain lions have all come up in recent conversations with my relatives vis-a-vis hiking.  Nobody says anything if I walk around the city streets where I'm much more likely to be mugged or hit by a car.  I have two standard responses.  The most popular one to comments about potential threats to my person is this: "If all of that LSD I did in college didn't kill me then I'm not worried about (fill in the blank with whatever threat is being proposed)."  This, I think, is pretty funny but it's not great news to share with relatives.  My fall back snappy response is to point out that "I'm much more likely to be killed and/or maimed driving to the location containing whatever threat that you're interested in trying to frighten me with."

Of course, I spent the first half of the hike searching hard for mountain lions - I'm prone to anxiety and incredibly suggestible to anything that sounds remotely scary.  I briefly carried a rock which I'm sure that any mountain lions that happened to be watching found incredibly funny.  They were probably laughing so hard that they lost their appetites and just forgot to attack and kill and/or maim me.  The good thing about a long, uphill hike is that the physical exertion takes all of the fun out of worrying about ridiculous things.  Eventually, I settled into a nice cadence and tired myself out.  It was a beautiful day: cool but sunny, with unbelievable views of the valley and out to the ocean.  I was by myself most of the time.  There weren't any sounds of civilization to be heard - nothing but wind and rustling vegetation and the sounds of the creek running next to the trail.  That and my ragged breathing.  

Guess what?  No mountain lions.