Wisely Selfish

 Here's the Buddha . . .  "No matter how important you may be, you are only a single person.  You have the same right to be happy as everyone else, but the difference is that you are one and they are many.  To lose the happiness of a single person is important, but not so important as losing the happiness of many other beings.  Put others first; you yourself come next.  This works even from a selfish viewpoint.  Let me explain how this is possible: you want happiness and do not want suffering, and if you show other people kindness, love and respect, they will respond in kind; this way your happiness will increase.  If you show other people anger and hatred, they will show you the same, and you will lose your  own happiness.  So I say, if you  are selfish, you should be wisely selfish."

So I'm not as important as other people.  So I should live a life dedicated to the service of others.  Hard for us flawed human beings to get our arms around this concept.  We are naturally driven by self.  I have been pondering this dichotomy in the context of the group of men that broke off from my regular morning group and started a new meeting.  For a number of reasons this really frosted my cake and the frosting went on for an uncomfortably long stretch of time, clearly revealing some significant defects in myself.  I've passed through this phase, thankfully, and I no longer harbor any resentments.  I think the personal growth for me was realizing that while I love everyone - or try to, anyway - I don't like everyone and that's normal and fine and okay.  Frankly, I could care less whether you like me or not and I'm assuming a lot of other people feel the same way.  As I continued to struggle with the issue I finally began to realize that there are some people who live a life based on principles and morals that I don't particularly respect.  I don't mean they're bad, evil people, just not my kind of people.  There's a guy at the new meeting who's been married five times.  And divorced five times.  Another guy told about confronting a homeless guy who was trespassing on his property - a huge beachfront mansion, by the way - with a pistol.  I know guys who vote for despicable candidates if they think they can get a bigger tax break . . .  the better to buy beachfront mansions, I guess.  Some of these guys are really active in A.A. and they are particularly attractive to newer guys with rougher backgrounds.  I'm not going to sit down and discuss the nuances of a foreign film festival with some dude who just got out of prison after a ten year stint for armed robbery.  I'm not judging the guy and I'm not saying I'm better than the guy or that I can't help him or he can't help me, just that he'll probably make a better personal connection with someone of a similar background.  This is only human nature.

To Thine Own Self Be True.