F.I.N.E.

"Mindfulness comes from a highly developed awareness of your physical and verbal actions.  If you pay close attention to your conduct when eating, coming and going, sitting and standing, and so forth, then a strong condition of mindfulness will take hold.  True change is within - leave the outside as it is!

Usually my advice to newcomers is to be patient; have fewer expectations of yourself.  It's most important to be an honest citizen, a good member of the human community.  Whether or not you understand profound ideas, it's important to be a good person wherever you are right now."  Sayeth the Dali Lama.

To paraphrase in Seaweed Speak: Don't be an asshole today.

A new woman shared today about her daily conversations with her sponsor.  This is the sweetest woman I've met in a long time but I'm suspicious of people who are really doing well when they're first getting sober.  I'm glad she's positive and cheerful but . . . c'mon.  Nobody comes in because things are going well.  In fact, shit has to be really going sideways to even consider attending Alcoholics Anonymous.  Nobody wakes up one morning and says: "Wow, things are great.  I'm healthy, my job is going well, the family worships the ground I walk on, I've got plenty of money and no legal problems - What the hell, I think I'll go to Alcoholics Anonymous."  So if your life is a mess and you've overcome the sheer weight of fear and inertia to actually go to a meeting then you're not happy with yourself.  During their daily phone call this woman's sponsor eventually got tired of hearing "Fine.  I'm fine.  Everything's fine." and finally said that if she wasn't going to be honest then she couldn't be of any help as a sponsor . . . as an A.A. friend, even.  When we ask someone in A.A. how they're doing we really want to know.  It's hard to get past the prejudice we have of people when we find out that people who are inquiring after our well-being are only doing this as a social courtesy and not out of any real concern.  Try telling someone in the Real World that your ass is falling off.  Watch them back away with a horrified expression.

FINE: Fucked Up, Insecure, Neurotic, Evasive.