We Know What You're Talking About

Sympathy:  A feeling of pity or sorrow for the distress or suffering of another.                                      Empathy:  Identification with or understanding the thoughts, feelings, or emotional state of another.    

It's my determination to overcome fear and discouragement that constitutes the only effective antidote to my sense of powerlessness over unwanted feelings.  I understand that there are some people out there who are obviously more genetically predisposed to suffer these discomforts than others - the dude who is having a loud argument with someone he sees in an empty corner of a meeting room isn't having a Not Working The Steps problem.  But for most of us while medication and therapy can provide crucial relief, we also have an obligation to alter our behavior in ways that allow us to exert greater control over our lives.

I try to profess empathy and solidarity with those among us who are suffering.  I try not to only express sympathy, finding this to be a mildly condescending concept.  I don't just feel sorry for someone, aware that this emotion makes many people feel less-than, but I do feel for their pain because many of us have suffered the exact same way.  So it does no one any good to endorse a passive dependency.  If you're looking for a helping hand sometimes the best place to find it is at the end of your own arm.  Most alcoholics want to be judged for their intentions and not for their actions, which usually suck.  Self-esteem is built up slowly by behaving well.  I know that my work life really began to improve when I . . . you know . . . showed up at work and worked while I was there and didn't try to tell my boss what to do and got my nose up outta other people's business.  I worked, so to speak, at my job and not at anyone else's.

Empathy is shown in how much understanding and compassion we can give to another.  Sympathy is more of a feeling of pity.  Nobody likes to be pitied.  It strips us of our self-respect.  This is why most of us experience that feeling when we come into A.A. that we're among people who really understand where we're coming from and what we've been through.  Pastors, shrinks, social workers, teachers, nobody gets me like another drunk.