Perfect Seaweed

 We all know people who are perfectionists.  They tend to be demanding of themselves and those around them and to manifest an obsessive orderliness that is, in the the end, alienating.  They don't trust feelings and prefer to occupy their time with things they can count and measure.  I think a lot of this is a symptom of needing to control everything.  When I think of my perfectionism (and it's rare that I meet an alcoholic who isn't a perfectionist to some degree) I often consider it a defect, something that is a brake on my spiritual development.  And when it's combined with my tendency to Type A your ass into next week it can be a hindrance.  You know the drill - sit down and meditate perfectly and efficiently for 100 breaths; never mind that such a mindset is the exact opposite of what's supposed to be going on in a meditation session.

So, in my defense, I'd say that we obsessive people make the world function for the rest of us.  Think about it.  Would you want your dermatologist to say: "Eh, I think I got most of your skin cancer" or the mechanics to test the landing gear ten times, clock out and head home, feeling pretty good about the fact that the wheels came down nine of the ten?  Hey, it's 90%, right?  What, I gotta be perfect?"  Uh, yeah, you gotta be perfect.

I mean . . . you should see my desk.  That baby is spit-clean, polished and organized.  I could close my eyes and tell you what's on top and in the drawers and not miss a thing.  I wouldn't call that abnormal but it's not . .  . it's not .  . .  great.  Sigh.

I was always amazed at how many more hours people in my profession worked to make less money than I did.  Sometimes it was a lot more hours and a lot less money.  When I had an opportunity I made the most of it.  I didn't fuck it up very much.  I had a system that was very effective and I stuck to it.  I think the other guys were happy to hit .500 and make twice as many sales calls as I did.  Me?  I worked three days a week and took most of the summer off.  I was a home run hitter.  This was what made sense to me.  I wasn't particularly relaxed or casual when I was working but I went down the list and checked off the action items and made a sale and then took Friday off.

There are certain personality characteristics that are highly correlated with academic and professional success: dedication to work, ability to manage time, attention to detail, conscientiousness.  People like this are excellent students and productive workers.  They can also be difficult to live with.  I have a tendency to alienate people who value closeness and relaxation because I'm so dedicated to keeping on target with my list and being perfect about it.  I'd rather be "productive" than to sit and shoot the shit.