Self-Seeking Will Slip Away

Strive:  To try to achieve a result; to make a strenuous effort; to try earnestly and persistently.

Self-seeking motives.  "Self-seeking will slip away."

"The program of Alcoholics Anonymous involves a continuous striving for improvement.  There can be no long resting period.  We must try to work at it all the time.  We must continually keep in mind that it is a program not to be measured in years, because we never fully reach our goals nor are we ever cured.  Our alcoholism is only kept in abeyance by daily living of the program.  It is a timeless program in every sense.  We live it day by day, or more precisely, moment by moment."

Abeyance is a pretty good word, too.   Too bad I'm too lazy to look it up this  morning.  It means a temporary suspension or a dormant condition.  I can take a break from a lot of things but not my recovery.  That bitch is an on or an off thing.  I can eat a bowl of ice cream for breakfast; I can sit in the hot tub for an hour instead of swimming; I can watch cat videos instead of reading; but I don't get to abey my recovery.

"Alcoholics are unable or unwilling, during their addiction to alcohol, to stop existing in a constant state of remorse and fear because of their unholy past and its morbid attraction, or the uncertain future and its vague forebodings.  So the only real hope is to face the present.  Now is the time.  Now is ours.  The past is beyond recall.  The future is as uncertain as life itself.  Only the now belongs to us."

One Day At A Time is the absolute best slogan.  If I had to pick one to A.A. slogan to hang my hat on this would be it.  As long as I'm in the present I'm going to be okay.  It's enough with regretting the past or imagining the awful things that are sure to happen to me in the future.  I like the phrase "vague foreboding."  Let's leave all vague forebodings to the times when we're planning a visit to the abandoned amusement park where a lot of people have been murdered and - if we have to go - let's pick a bright, sunny day.

"Leave each soul the better for having met you or heard you.  Your attitude should be a loving desire to help and an infectious spirit of calmness and trust in God.  I ask that I may be calm in the midst of storms.  I pray that I may pass on this calmness to others who are lonely and full of fear."