$278

"There are two days in every week about which we should not worry, two days which should be kept from fear and apprehension  One of these days is yesterday, with its mistakes and cares, its faults and blunders, its aches and pains.  Yesterday has passed forever beyond our control.  All the money in the world cannot bring back yesterday.  We cannot undo a single act we performed.  We cannot erase a single word we said.  Yesterday is gone beyond recall."

"Another day we should not worry about is tomorrow, with its possible adversities, its burdens, its large promise, and perhaps its poor performance.  Tomorrow is also beyond our immediate control.  Tomorrow's sun will rise.  Until it does, we have no stake in tomorrow."

"This leaves only one day - today.  Anyone can fight the battles of just one day.  It is only when you and I add the burden of those two awful eternities, yesterday and tomorrow, that we break down.  It is not the experience of today that drives us mad.  It is the remorse or bitterness for something which happened yesterday or the dread of what tomorrow may bring."

Copying great thoughts written someone else is awfully lazy for someone trying to share his own original thoughts . . . but sometimes the stuff I read is difficult to top.  I'm doodling around with an old pen, not trying to paint The Mona Lisa.  I have a daily meditation book that I read daily - not officially A.A. approved but an old Hazelden book that had heavy input from a lot of our founders.  The above quotes came on three successive days where we're reminded that yesterday is gone and tomorrow is not yet here so stay the hell out of those two days.   We get no help whatsoever dealing with those two days from our Higher Power.  He's strictly a today guy.  

I've said many times and I'll repeat it again that if I had to boil my Program down into one phrase it would be One Day At A Time.

I had a dental appointment to deal with some pain in one of my teeth.  The dentist was stumped so he sent me to a specialist.  An endodontist.  I thought the dentist was the fucking tooth specialist.  Apparently there are also periodontists and orthodontists, all of which sound like made-up names to me.  I mean . . . c'mon - you got 32 teeth and some gums.  You need four different specialists to handle this?  That's 8 teeth per specialist.  A four year college degree and four years of dentistry school and you can only handle 8 teeth?  What a racket.

There's a point in here somewhere . . .   Oh, yeah, I was not calm in my mind in the 24 hours leading up to the appointment.  I wasn't frantic but I wanted a good outcome.  I am calm in my mind about the past.  I made mistakes which I have apologized for and I have altered my behavior to the best of my ability so that I don't repeat these mistakes and that is that.  The future is definitely trickier.  I want what I want when I want it.  I have expressed no interest in learning through adversity.  I was not interested in having any teeth pain and was even less interested in having the source of the pain stump my dentist.

$278 to the endodontist.  Fifteen minutes.