The best thing I ever did for my family relationships was to move 2,500 miles away. I have decent relationships with my family but the distance isn't hurting anything and my family is totally fine - I just don't really fit in that well. I can't even call myself the Black Sheep of the family. I'm not even a sheep at all. I'm the fucking goat of the family, for god's sake. It's no wonder I don't fit in.
The good news is that family relationships almost always improve. The honest news is that sometimes they don't. I got fired from the job I was working at when I got sober and then I got fired from the next one so it's not like the effects of the spiritual program I was toiling away at did me any good in the work world. Same thing with family from time to time - I was easily controllable when I was drinking and then I wasn't. I changed a ton and my family didn't, which was fine because they were pretty normal and not all drunken assholes. I think what I bring to the party today is consistency - they may not always like what I bring but they know what to expect. And the stress and confusion of finding out where you fit in the family dynamic gets easier over time
Death of a family member is a tough one. It takes a long time to process whether or not you're sober and whether or not you get along with the family member in question. Your dad is your dad and your mom is your mom.
Box of time and space. Such a great concept, being fixed inside a box of time and space and trying to understand a Higher Power that is limitless. It's no wonder that I have trouble grasping what's going on. I'm trying to understand the incomprehensible.
Obviously we talked about some family dynamics at the meeting today. I like how we take normal living situations and try to solve them using spiritual principles. A good meeting always comes back to solving a practical challenge with a Twelve Step solution.
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