Me. Me. Me.

 Always pondering the tension between doing what I want to do - personal freedom - and being mindful of the needs and comfort and welfare of others - the social instinct.  I am amused - as a non-rules guy - how irritated I can get when other people break the rules, even in those cases where I can see how someone else might see the particular rule as stupid or useless or where I see the rule as stupid or useless.  It's the rule, goddammit!  Of course, when I think a rule is stupid or useless I'm not great at following it.  This makes sense to me because I'm insane.

If I like something I want it to stay the same but if I don't like something I want it to change.  Also insanity.  Also, a direct contradiction to the Serenity Prayer, an A.A. staple.

"When A.A. was quite young, a number of eminent psychologists and doctors made an exhaustive study of a good-sized group of so-called problem drinkers.  They finally came up with a conclusion that shocked the A.A. members of that time.  These distinguished men had the nerve to say that most of the alcoholics under investigation were still childish, emotionally sensitive, and grandiose."

The only thing shocking about this is that they only used three insulting adjectives to describe us.

When I do something that may threaten the health, physical safety, or emotional well-being of someone else . . . what's the calculus I use?  What's my motivation, my thought pattern?  Do I simply not give a shit?  Am I paddling along happily in willful ignorance?  Is it a combination of the two? 

Me.  Me.  Me.