Big News!

 I have a nagging sense that 2021 is being threatened as in: "I may not get to do what I want to do" threatened.  This is probably a redundant statement.  What else is important to me than what I want to do?  Nothing comes to mind.  But there's a new, more contagious strain of the virus beginning to circulate and the pandemic is raging because people aren't doing what the health authorities recommend.  I think people weigh the consequences and the percentages against the inconvenience in their lives and pretty much do what they want.  I used to do this all the time when I was drinking.  Ten beers and a car?  I've gotten home safely hundreds of times before so I bet I get home safely tonight.  And you know what?  Never had an accident, a ticket, or a DUI so my bet was solid.  I never really bothered to spend much time considering that an accident could have had dire circumstances for myself and - what's much worse - dire consequences for some other totally innocent person.  Bad enough I smash up my car and mess myself up - quite selfish to disregard the possibility that this could have also happened to you.

The big news - Big News! - is that I'm making some progress on my home group resentment.  Slow but steady.  Actually, real fucking slow and so steady as to be imperceptible since it has been ongoing for like two months.  I'm not sprinting toward the finish line, that's for sure.  The linchpin is that I can't shake this sensation that a big part of the resentment is my belief that some people are making a political statement by meeting in person and they're dragging along some weaker, more impressionable members.  Strong personalities can be compelling from time to time.  Sometimes I like having someone cocksure about a matter tell me forcefully and with great confidence what to do (Fair Disclosure: I never like this).  

I don't buy the "new people need live meetings" argument, either.  I'd be comfortable if one of these people held a meeting in one of their large backyards or in a nice park by the ocean - that seems safer to me than meeting in an enclosed space where people aren't wearing PPE.  I suspect the stance is more along the lines of "Nobody gets to tell me what to do" instead of "we're here for the newcomer."  My Zoom meeting has plenty of newcomers.

I think I'm going to drive back and forth down their residential streets at 80MPH in my Very Expensive Car.  Who do they think they are?  Telling me it's against the law and it's dangerous.  Stay inside if you feel threatened.

Hey, that's kind of fun.