A Running Chain Saw

I've been talking to a guy in The Program that I've known since he got sober.  He came to meetings for a while before succumbing to frustration having to deal with all the idiots that he kept running into and drifted away from in-person meetings even before the pandemic.  I've always liked the guy - he's from New Jersey so I can just say whatever I want to him without worrying about offending him such as reminding him that's he one of the idiots that he can't stand.  He probably told me to screw myself using more of a Jersey verb.  He does that a lot.  It's a Jersey compliment.  People in CA are so nice - I usually enjoy this but I do like to hear a good "Fuck you" from time to time.

I re-lit the thread of our relationship a while back.  In one of our conversations I was amused to hear him say that I was his sponsor.  I don't recall this arrangement being set up but . . . whatever.   Happy to help out.  He is sober and relatively sane.  Normally I don't have a lot to do with people who drift away from meetings.  I don't judge people who do that - much, anyway - but it's not my shtick.  I think it's hard to stay sober and grow spiritually without that contact with other people in recovery but it's not my place to run the lives of other people.  Live and Let Live and To Thine Own Self Be True.

He lives with a woman who has some not insignificant mental illness and he has a three year old son and a job that requires him to interact with a lot of famous diva-type people in close quarters.  When he's frustrated I'm sympathetic.  I think most people are idiots, too, but I don't have to hang around anyone I don't want to except for SuperK who is most definitely NOT an idiot but rather a person I enjoy hanging around with.

I caught him on his long commute home a couple of days ago.  He was wound up.  He'd rant for a bit and I'd interrupt to ask how his son was and how his spiritual practice was going, anything to remind him to be grateful and to stay grounded, talking over him when he inquired about my well-being, aware that he wasn't all interested in how I was doing.  At the end of the call he said next time we spoke we'd make sure to talk about Seaweed.

Look, I get it.  He probably felt a little guilty at monopolizing the conversation even though he's just another garden-variety self-obsessed alcoholic who could benefit from a little less drama in his life and little more recovery.  It's not always easy to convince people that anything - and I mean anything - that allows me to stop thinking about myself for a couple of minutes is a wonderful thing.  Sometimes I start up a chain saw and let it run in my office just to drown out the clatter going on in my head.  The running chain saw is peaceful compared to the crap I have going on up there.