I AM The Show

Psychosomatic Illness:

Some physical diseases are believed to have a mental component derived from the stresses and strains of everyday living.  This has been suggested, for example, of lower back pain and high blood pressure, which some researchers have suggested may be related to stresses in everyday life.  However, within a psychosomatic framework, mental and emotional states are seen as capable of significantly influencing the course of any physical illness.  Psychiatry traditionally distinguishes between psychosomatic disorders, disorders in which mental factors play a significant role in the development, expression, or resolution of a physical illness, and somatoform disorders, disorders in which mental factors are the sole cause of a physical illness.

I'm going to assume that, like me, no one else is tired of hearing me prattle on and on and on about my non-existent problems.  Problems that exist in my head.

My wife never complains about aches and pains (boy, does she bitch when she's sick, though). No one in her family ever talked about getting old or dying.  No one in my family did either, except for my saint of a mother.  SuperK finds it odd that I bring it up as often as I do.

I don't believe I've ever had a full blown panic attack, the kind where you end up in the ER gasping for breath and clutching your chest, certain death is imminent.  I have had instances that I'll call panicky attacks.  They are a pain in the ass.  I'm struck with these out-of-control feelings of impending doom, loss of control, sure that it's bad and it's going to get worse and it's not ever going to improve.  They definitely feed and build on each other, these fears - they race on and on at increasing speed.

Panic:  Of fear, fright, etc.: sudden or overwhelming. (Attributed to the Greek god Pan, the god of woods and fields who was the source of mysterious sounds that caused contagious, groundless fears in herds and crowds, or in people in lonely spots).

A friend texted me this gem: "Hey, brother, YOU are the show!  Live your own distraught and lovable movie.  It's all you got."