Solution V. Problem

Problem:  Very difficult to train or discipline: as, a problem child.


There's a great AC/DC song called "Problem Child."  You really should listen to it.  Not only are the lyrics great it has a chord progression that will rattle your breastbone.


Anyway, I don't want to get distracted here with AC/DC.  God forbid I get rolling on Black Sabbath.  I'd never get anywhere if that happens.  The point is that I have a tendency to dwell in the problem.  I'm familiar with the problem.  I've spent a lot of time there and it's a weirdly comforting place for me to be.  I conjure problems out of thin air and then I try to weasel out of the consequences.  It never occurs to me until it's too late that maybe I could simply avoid problems or work on solutions that would prevent their existence or alleviate their intensity.


Solution:  The act, method, or process of solving a problem.


I believe that one of the great strengths of The Program is that it constantly forces me to circle back around to the the solution.  This is not someplace that I want to go.  My nature is to feint, prevaricate, and delay until the problem is avoided.  I love that meetings in The New City invariably start out with someone reading a section from one of our books.  That's where the solutions are found.


Let me give you an example.  Let's say SuperK is mad at me.  This is the problem.  This is a BIG problem.  If I choose to live in the problem then I'll deny that I've done anything wrong or I'll go on the offensive (the best defense is a BIG offense) and point out things that she has done wrong in the past, which is a not so clever way of avoiding the present.


I really don't need to hear other people share stories of arguments with their spouses.  Sometimes it's helpful over coffee or after a meeting because it helps me feel less isolated, but what I truly need is to hear some solution talk.  Acceptance.  Locating my part in the argument and then trying to correct that behavior.  Compassion for someone else who may be having a bad day. 


Yeah, that kind of stuff.