Faith?

Faith:  Unquestioning belief; complete confidence or reliance: as, children usually have faith in their parents.


Once again I must admit that I CANNOT BELIEVE I have not looked up the definition of faith in almost 4 years of postings.  That tells you something about my interest in the positive.  I've looked up fear so many times that the page has crumbled into dust.


I don't believe that these mythical children who have faith in their parents turn out to be alcoholics.  We don't have faith in anything except, ironically, our own decision making abilities, which is the last thing we should have faith in giving our lousy track record of doing things and the dire consequences of our decisions.


My meditation this morning again drifted into reflection on how everything seems to work out as long as I keep kicking the can down the road.  My goal is to get up, brush my teeth, and start kicking the can.  I don't try to pulverize the can with the biggest kick ever in the history of mankind and I don't cower in fear that the can will begin to kick me back.  I'm pretty sure that the can would win any kicking contests where I'm the opponent.


If there's one thing I've learned in The Program it is to Keep the Faith.  No matter what I have had to go through the lesson is that it's all going to work out in the long run.  My problem is that I don't like the long run.  I don't like to run at all.