Thinking About Myself is Very Important To Me, and That's a Problem

Giving is so often thought of in terms of the things we give, but our greatest giving is of our time and kindness and even comfort for those who need it.

A guy came to the meeting with a sweatshirt that had a controversial political message on it.   I didn't like that he did that.  I didn't like the political message, either, but I don't think we should wear any caps, T-shirts, or coats with political messages on them.  Of any kind.  I used to make this point quietly in an aside to the offending party but I confess to not doing that anymore.  We live in too violent a society these days.  Isn't that sad?  Isn't that awful?

Little things heal our hurts.  Sounds, scents, the spoken word, and music that may mean nothing to someone else can reach into our souls and do work that ordinary methods cannot touch.  Our work is to avoid the negative side - to think and speak only healing words, loving words.  Choices are possible.

Recovered:     A return to a normal state of mind, health, or strength.

Recovering:   Being in the process of overcoming a shortcoming or disorder.

The use of "recovered alcoholic" occurs in SoCal like nowhere else I've ever attended meetings; in fact, some of us use it sort of forcefully, as if they're daring you to say anything about it.  A few members think it's not a good practice to let new people think that members with many years of sobriety still suffer from alcoholism.  I do get it.  The word "recovered" occurs often in the A.A. literature.  I shy away from the idea.  I've seen too many people with lots of sobriety - people who would have told you they were secure in their recovery - end up drinking again.  I prefer to think that I'm a recovered drunk but that some version of my alcoholism is still latent in my being.  I prefer to think that if I keep doing what I'm doing then I'll never have to pick up a drink again.

If you're not working The Steps, if you're just coming to meetings and enjoying the fellowship, I think you may be on thin ice.  While there are many ways of getting and staying sober I'd suggest that if you're going to give Alcoholics Anonymous a shot then working The Steps is going to be worthwhile.  It's a Twelve Step program.  The Steps are the thing.  The Steps are the thing.

I will never forget my early reaction to the idea that I needed to start thinking about myself less and thinking about others more.  It still sounds weird.  I always had life laid out as a zero sum game, winner take all.