To Thine Own Self Be True

 I'm currently fascinated with The Program and how it can/should be worked.  I see a dichotomy: there are groups where people explain what they've done and how that worked out and then leave you alone.  You are free to follow the path they've taken or to ferret out another path or find another mentor whose actions seem to be a better fit.  My preference, natch, because if you tell me what to do I do a one-eighty and head right off in the opposite direction.  Fucking tell me what to do . . .   My hand can be caught in a vice and I won't take it out if you give me specific instructions on how to lessen the pain.  Dude.

And then there are groups that have a very stylized, organized program of recovery.  Do this, don't do that, come every day, call me at this time, or find another sponsor.  That is so not me and it is so not me both in the way I receive The Message and in the way that I deliver it.  While I'm loath to admit this I have come to see that there are some people who need to be cuffed about the neck and head or they'll never get sober.  Some of us grow up in an environment lacking in discipline.  I often wonder how my life would have worked out if my parents had turned me around and pushed me right back out the front door when I limped home in disgrace after being kicked out of college, broke, directionless, selfish.  Would it have hastened my recovery if they had insisted I get a job and pay rent?  Hard to say.

To Thine Own Self Be True.