Sober Up a Drunk Horse Thief and You Have A Sober Horse Thief

More from Bill W . . .  This on the topic of Emotional Sobriety . . . 

 "I've taken immense wallops trying to achieve top approval, perfect security and perfect romance all because of my failure to grow up, emotionally and spiritually.  My basic flaw had always been dependence - almost absolute dependence - on people or circumstances to supply me with prestige, security and the like.  Failing to get these things according to my perfectionist dreams and specifications, I had fought for them.  And when defeat came, so did my depression.  Self-realization of this dependence helped to trigger my release into my present degree of stability and quietness of mind, qualities which I am now trying to consolidate by offering love to others regardless of the return to me.  This seems to be the primary healing circuit: an outgoing love of God's creation and His people, by means of which we avail ourselves of His love for us.  I now know that my happiness is a by-product -- the extra dividend of giving without any demand for a return.  My stability came out of trying to give, not out of demanding that I receive."

I'm always hungry to hear about how we grow as people - as spiritual beings - once we rid our lives of alcohol and drugs.  The Three Esses: Sex, Society, and Security.  The Alcoholics Anonymous program is full of reminders that alcohol is but a symptom of our disease and that it's our rampant greed when it comes to money, the sex relation, and our desire to be someone in the company of our fellows that causes us problems.  "Practically all the problems there are," says The Book.  There's a strong emphasis on the difference between healthy instinctual drives and the over-the-top, out-of-control ones that define alcoholics.  I think Bill W is really onto something when he talks about the realization that when he gives with no expectation that his giving will be reciprocated that it's at that point when he experiences real emotional growth.

Sober up a drunk asshole and you end up with an asshole.  It's the asshole part that we're working on now.