No one is picking on me. I'm not being singled out for special punishment. When I get sick it's not because I did something wrong. People get sick. People have problems.
One of the things we say in my household when one of us is confronted with a vexatious person is this: "Who has The Program?" And while it's said in kindness it's still pretty irritating but it's a powerful reminder that I need to hold myself to a higher standard. If I act petty and in a vindictive fashion I'm no better than the irritating person I'm silently judging.
The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. If you did it yesterday you're going to do it today and you're probably going to do it tomorrow. I need to stop bullshitting myself about the things I need to do that I'm going to start doing and the things I need to stop doing that I'm going to keep doing anyway. Change is hard. Change is a bitch. I'm rather sit in my own shit than get up and move.
I am responsible for most of what happens to me. I need to quit blaming other people, places, and things for the state I'm in. The following is a true story unlike most of this crap that I make up . . . A friend in recovery was complaining to a sponsor about other people when one day his phone call was answered this way: "It's not them - it's you" followed by a click.
Once I hit 40 the statute of limitations on my childhood grievances against my parents ran out. It was time to take responsibility for the person I was, change what I didn't like, and quit complaining about the past.
I started to thrive in the business world when I finally figured out some things. I was not the boss - my boss didn't need me telling him/her how to do his/her job better. Other employees were not my concern. I was expected to arrive on time and stay until quitting time and . . . you know . . . actually work when I was there. I was sort of cheerful. I mean, a dude can only do so much.
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