Serenity, Recovery, and Seaweed

 From this little pamphlet on Serenity . . . 

"So if we find ourselves in an apparently hopeless situation, with every avenue of escape blocked, we must not rebel.  Instead, we must realize that God has a reason for permitting it.  Most of us can look back over our lives and see how the loving hand of God has brought a happy ending to many events that seemed to be unmitigated tragedies at the time.  The trouble is that most of us think happiness consists in the fulfillment of our wants and desires, or at the very least in freedom from pain and suffering.  Actually, it consists in the serenity that comes from conforming our own will to the will of God."

And from this little book on recovery . . . 

"What difference does it make if things are left undone tonight?  Will it matter ten years from now?  Nothing is so important that we should carry tension and worry into our relaxation time.  What is important is our ability to accept the day's events by the time we're ready to sleep."

Not long ago I reread the last ten years of my personal writing journals.  Two things struck me: How rarely the things that caused me angst came to pass and how consistently I worry about the same few things, sort of a Top Ten of Personal Anxieties.  Moreover, I saw how often I felt like I shouldn't be worrying about things that clearly merited some angst.  If I hear an emergency siren and a friend or loved one isn't home I probably shouldn't panic.  If my mother and father die within a year of each other I probably should expect to be upset at some point.  

I'm trying to be grateful for all of my blessings and I'm trying to develop perspective at all my irritations and bedevilments.  In the end, in the long run, they are crashing cymbals and tinkling bells, all sound and fury, amounting to nothing when all is said and done.  One of my core principles is trying to understand that contentment consists not in getting what I want but in enjoying what I have.  As a grown-up I realize that if I'm only contented when I'm getting what I want then I'm going to be discontented most of the time.  As a grown-up I know that if I look closely enough then I can find something enjoyable - or at least beneficial and constructive - in any situation, no matter how disagreeable.

If only I look for it.