An Ass In A Seat

 Service:  The action of helping or doing work for someone; help, use, or benefit - "glad to be of service."

Nice word.  Simple.  Easy to understand.  Nowhere do the concepts of me, myself, or I show up.

The topic of the meeting this morning was being of service in The Fellowship.  One of the themes of the sharing was how completely unaware of other people we were while we were drinking.  The idea of doing something for someone else with no expectation of a reward was alien to me.  I was afraid that I was being taken advantage of.  Screwed!  Sure, I'll buy a pitcher of beer but I've got my eyes on all of you.  You're not getting out of here tonight without anteing up.

My off-repeated early-sobriety story about service occurred in Indianapolis where I was dabbling in my recovery.  You know the drill - show up late, leave early - so someone asked me to make coffee for the meeting.  With no artifice or barely disguised snark I replied: "I don't drink coffee at night."  Implied but wisely left unspoken was the addendum: "If you want coffee why don't you fucking make it yourself?"  The kindly gentlemen suggested that it might be nice to make the coffee for some of the other members.  What this service commitment did, of course, was force me to show up early and stay late so I got to know some people.  This was my first real start in my recovery.

The other experience took place in Chicago.  I volunteered for the coffee position at a big meeting there - I was learning a little bit about The Program and knew I needed to start being of service  - before I understood that I had to show up an hour before the meeting to get two huge pots started.  Apparently having the coffee done one minute before the meeting started wasn't the deal - people who showed up a half hour early to fellowship wanted a cup.  Then, to compound my indignity, I had to wait until everyone was gone before I cleaned the pots.  It was like a three hour commitment.  Again, I was there early and I stayed late and I got into the middle of the herd, into the flow of recovery.  I also learned how to deal with the irritation I felt and not being recognized with a special A.A. reward for Best Coffee in Dupage County.

A lot of service work in A.A. occurs under the radar.  Just being at a meeting so that someone who really needs a meeting has a meeting to attend is good service work.  Just being an ass in a seat.  When I was new and traveling occasionally I'd show up at a posted meeting site only to learn that the meeting had moved or been disbanded.  I'd have been thrilled to have one ass in one seat so that I could unspool my tale of woe.  Today I know I don't need to share something amazing  at every meeting.  I've mentioned over and over showing up at my regular meetings when we were meeting in person and standing outside with the smokers, making sure everyone is at least recognized when they're showing up.  Most people nod and walk on by but not everyone.  And then I'll often stand at the door to the meeting room afterwards and greet everyone who's leaving.  Again, most people drift by but I often get into a conversation with someone.  I have the personality to do this.  Not everyone does.  I don't have the personality to work with new people - I'm too dismissive of bullshit to be very welcoming or understanding so I leave that to the more patient members.