We had a spirited discussion this morning about the god or higher power part of the recovery process in Alcoholics Anonymous. The topic, sometimes controversial, always groan-inducing, amuses me because - whether you like it or not - it's a big part of the process. It seems we either tip toe around the idea of a higher power or we jam it down your throat.
In the chapter devoted to Step Two the founders spell out all the ways the recalcitrant manage to push the god concept away. There are five categories discussed as popular excuses among the unwilling excuse makers among us: Atheism, or saying that god DOES NOT exist; focusing on instances of hypocrisy instead of concentrating on all the good that can be found in religion; loss of faith - having once had it but losing it under a tsunami of alcohol and drugs; the proclamations of the overly pious, reeking of faith and telling you all about it; and, one of my favorites, being too smart for all of the god bullshit.
The first time I read this I found myself saying: "Yes! That's it! That's me!" before realizing I said that after each category was discussed.
Where I live we often are covered in a blanket of fog for an hour or two before the sun exerts itself influence. I was listening to people share about god while looking into this soup right outside my window. I like fog for brief spurts so I thought: "There's god. Right there." Art and music and nature and animals, all god stuff.
"The minute I stopped fighting or arguing, I could begin to see and feel. Right there, Step Two gently and very gradually began to infiltrate my life. I had only to stop fighting and practice the rest of AA's program as enthusiastically as I could."
"We need always to distinguish pain from suffering. Pain is physiological and should always be alleviated when possible, for pain can erode the spirit’s vitality. Suffering is spiritual, for it inevitably raises questions of meaning." James Hollis
Meditation is not about stopping my thinking. It's about watching my thinking without judging what I'm seeing or trying to control it. Brains think. It's what they do. They've got it and they're going to use it and they're persistent about it. Try to tamp your thinking down at your own peril. Even if you're a seasoned, diligent practitioner of meditation your brain will prove to be a worthy foe. Some days I can't keep the bastard quiet for a single breath without some useless bit of minutia intruding. Today I don't fight that - I laugh at it.
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