Pious Seaweed or Something Else

Faith:  complete trust or confidence in something; strong belief based on spiritual apprehension rather than proof.
Doubt: A feeling of not being certain about something, especially about how good or true it is.

I was meandering about this morning, in my mind, thinking about the human tendency to seek for, to hope for, something bigger than we are, to gain some assurance that What Comes Next is going to be awfully sweet.  When I travel I can most quickly get a feel for the essence of a people by finding out what they eat and how they express their faith.  These two things are omnipresent.  They are ubiquitous to every country I've visited.  There's something about the human mind that seems to feel that we're smaller and less insignificant than something else.  And I love learning about what has to happen to get to this place What Comes Next.  Some practices are full of Rules and Regulations and "you gotta do this" and "if you aren't doing what we say then you're going to burn in a Lake of Fire."  Others are like: "Whatever.  Be nice, think of others, grow your faith, and you'll be fine."

I have one short prayerful affirmation to the God of my childhood that I repeat every morning (Ed. Note: I repeat the prayer every morning, not my childhood).  This religion requires the completion of some very specific things if you want to get the 800 virgins or the endless seafood buffet or the nice, private cloud where you can relax and play the lute, draped in velvet and white silk, and if you don't do these very specific things . . . it's the Lake of Fire for you, dude.  I'm not huge on Rules and Regulations.  I resist authority and don't like being told what to do but I am vaguely uneasy about the Lake of Fire.  For All Eternity.  Sounds unpleasant so I hedge my bets and "believe" in the things that are required to avoid this fate.  

This morning the prayer made me think about the tension between faith and doubt, and how doubt is another emotion that is particular to humans.  In my childhood religion, for chrissake, the son of god figure was facing a lousy couple of days so he actually prayed to the major head god figure to have the trial and tribulation taken away.  If HE can feel doubt I doubt I'm going to avoid it myself.

That being said I do have a sense that I'm doing God's will.  I feel like I'm on the right path.  I don't believe that God gives a shit if I feel doubtful or if my prayers are empty of the "true" belief that delivers an expected result.  I heard this once: "God has big shoulders - he can handle whatever you toss his way."  I think God is happy that I'm making the effort.  Half-assed effort, full-assed effort, whatever.  Pious, I am not.