Lead Topics

I have been asked over the years, for reasons that are opaque to me, to give a Lead where we Tell Our Story, What It Was Like, What Happened, and What It's Like Now.  Mostly people drone on and on about their drinking history.  Many times the What It Was Like consumes the majority of the talk, leaving the speaker to quickly rush through the getting sober and staying sober part of the process which is, as we would all agree, the most important part.  That being said - while this Drunk-A-Log can be boring and while it can be boring as shit I agree that it's salutary to get this crap out of the darkness and into the light of day.  Maybe leave an anecdote or two out of the talk.  

Anyway, over the years I've jotted down some notes to jog my memory when I'm talking.  I find it intensely amusing that these notes vary little.  There is a progression to my recovery that has remained steadfast.  There are some concepts and ideas and things that resonated with me immediately and have stayed continuously important and for a long, long time.

Here's kind of a Greatest Hits compilation . . . 

Craving:  An intense, urgent, or abnormal desire or longing.

A physical allergy and a mental obsession - we have a much different reaction to alcohol -  some say it's an allergy - than non-alcoholics and this generates an obsession to keep drinking, consequences be damned.  "All these (problem drinkers) have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving.  This phenomenon may be the manifestation of an allergy which differentiates these people, and sets them apart as a distinct entity."  P XXVIII Big Book.

Self-knowledge and Will-Power (avail us nothing!).  We're all smart and we're all full of a fierce desire to succeed yet we find that we're  ". . .  absolutely unable to stop drinking on the basis of self-knowledge."  P 39 Big Book.

Anger and Depression.  Everything is fear based - fear turned outward or fear turned inward.  "Fear - this short word somehow touches about every aspect of our lives.  It was an evil and corroding thread; the fabric of our existence was shot through with it.  It set in motion trains of circumstances which brought us misfortune we felt we didn't deserve.  But did not we, ourselves, set the ball rolling?"  P 67 Big Book.

Resentments are infinitely fatal.  Resentments kill alcoholics.  "Resentment is the 'number one' offender.  It destroys more alcoholics than anything else."  P 64  Big Book.  It's OK to feel a sense of grievance from time to time.  We'd hardly be human if nothing anyone did ever annoyed us.  It's what we do with the aggravation that's important.  Hopefully, we can use the tools to understand it, to the best of our ability, and then process through it.

Isolation - we feel alone even if we're in a crowd.  This is a disease that wants to keep us isolated, thinking terrible thoughts, telling ourselves scary stories.  "For one thing, we shall get rid of that terrible sense of isolation we've always had."  P 57 12&12 (this passage is found in Step Five, assuring us that once we start sharing about ourselves we won't feel so alone.)

Perfectionism - keep raising that bar higher so we're never good enough.  "We are all perfectionists who, failing perfection, have gone to the other extreme and settled for the bottle and the blackout."  P 156 12&12.  If I can't do it perfectly I'm not even gonna try.

Intolerance - all y'all are irritating the shit out of me.  "We talked of intolerance while we were intolerant ourselves."  P 50 Big Book.

Selfish - "If you want to be happy today spend all of your time thinking about me."  This is such good advice that I parcel it out constantly.  I don't have enough time in the day to think about myself properly so I need to recruit helpers.  "Selfishness - self-centeredness!  That, we think , is the root of our troubles."  P 62 Big Book.

Pride and Egotism.

Fear - Future Events Appearing Real or Fuck Everything And Run!!

Working The Steps is the key.

Control - I. Am. In. Total. Control.  No doubt about it.
"As we redouble our attempts at control, and continue to fail, our suffering becomes acute and constant."  P 53 12&12.
"All of us felt that we were regaining control, but such intervals - usually brief - were inevitably followed by still less control, which led to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization."  P 30 Big Book.

Recovery Program  -  This is where I detail the daily work I do to stay sober and advance spiritually: meetings; phone calls; reading; writing; service work; and the critical Quiet Time to start my day.  I'm proud of the work I do.  I fail from time to time and fall short often but I'm always putting in the work.

Slogans: Easy Does It
One Day At A Time
Let Go And Let God
Live And Let Live