Instincts On Rampage

"The most subtle of all temptations is the seeming success of the wicked.  It requires moral courage to see, without flinching, material prosperity coming to men who are dishonest; to see politicians rise into prominence, power and wealth by trickery and corruption; to see virtue in rags and vice in velvet; to see ignorance at a premium, and knowledge at a discount.  To the man who is really calm these puzzles of life do not appeal.  He is living his life as best he can; he is not worrying about the problems of justice, whose solution must be left to Omniscience to solve."  

This idea of Right and Wrong is best left to other people in my case.  I don't know why some people are rewarded for poor behavior and others can't seem to catch a break despite living admirable lives.  Not my purview.  

Some more repetitive thoughts from my journal review.  This section comes from 6 or 8 years ago and these reflections are as pertinent today as they were then: I am restless.
I am prone to anxiety.
Quit trying to be "productive."

Here are some phrases from Step Four in the 12 & 12:
Powerfully, blindly, many times subtly, they (our instincts) drive us, dominate us, and insist on ruling our lives.
When thus out of joint, man's natural desires (our instincts) cause him great trouble, practically all the trouble there is. (Ed. Note: practically all the trouble there is.  Yowser.  There is no subtlety there.  That's one hell of a powerful statement.)
Collision of Instincts.
Instinct Run Wild.
Instincts on Rampage (balk at investigation).
Instincts gone astray.

Instinct:  A natural or inherent impulse or behavior; an intuitive reaction not based on rational conscious thought.

More journal repetition:
Money, money, money.  Pages of figures as I try to calculate the best way to go about something and the worst things to avoid.  It's exhausting looking at them.  I don't know what half of them mean.  I don't know what equation I was trying to solve.  Apparently I solved them, I guess, because I have a house to live in but what was so compelling about them at the time I have no idea.

Coffee and why I drink too much coffee and what games I can play to reduce my coffee consumption and the ill effects I suffer because of my coffee consumption and how much I love the coffee buzz, when it's working, that first kick of caffeine in the morning.  Same thing with sugar which I consume in amounts bordering on unhealthy.