Drinking Dreams

Watch your thoughts, they become your words; watch your words, they become your actions; watch your actions, they become your habits; watch your habits, they become your character; watch your character, it becomes your destiny.  --  Lao Tsu

I had a using dream last night.  I've found that as I've gotten older I'm beginning to remember my dreams more and more, something that has been incredibly rare over the years.  I know I'm dreaming but the contents have remained opaque to me.  Anyway, I was at a New Year's party where there were some old friends from high school and, more significantly, their parents.  These were not my favorite parents but there I was at the party hugging them and telling them how much I loved them.  I feel sort of two-faced about this people-pleasing bullshit but then again maybe all of my recent writing about love is sinking in and I'm trying to stay on a more positive path.  Practice what I preach.  Your thoughts become your actions, maybe?

SuperK and I avoid violent or disturbing videos in the evening.  I find those images take root in my head and come out in crappy sleep patterns.

Anyway again, I left the party in the dark, slipping and sliding on ice covered walkways as I tried to find my car, an all-too real image from my past that still makes me shudder in disgust.  The next thing I know I've just taken a big hit of powerful weed and it's working.  I'm feeling fiiiiiiiiiiiine.  It's now light outside - I have a strong aversion to dark and a deep love of bright sunshine - and, while it's still winter, the snow is melting and the sun is warming the air  - I have an even stronger aversion to cold - and I've done all this hugging and kissing and loving and the pot is working fine, just the way I always wanted it to: a little something to take the edge off, to relax the ball of intensity that is rooted so deeply in my head.

Whenever I think I've got this thing licked . . . .