Defective Seaweed

Defect:  A shortcoming, imperfection, or lack.

I have some tried and true techniques I use when I'm unhappy about something.

"The chief activator of our defects has been self-centered fear - primarily fear that we would lose something we already possessed or would fail to get something we demanded.  Living upon a basis of unsatisfied demands, we were in a state of continual disturbance and frustration."  12&12 P 76.

I'm impressed at the beauty of that statement.  Essentially, if I got it then I'm afraid I might lose it and if I don't got it then I'm afraid that I'm never going to get it.  THAT is an all-inclusive statement.  THAT gives me the ability to be pissed off about everything.

So I look at the irritant and decide if I'm not doing something I need to be doing or if I've done everything I can so I need to chill out?  I don't like paying income taxes: never have and never will.  The chances of me not paying taxes and getting away with it is not very high, so I've come to peace with the fact that I have to do something that I don't want to do and - magically - the force of the irritant lessens.  I get into the "Eh, whatever" phase more quickly.

Another technique is to set up some extreme boundaries and then work inward toward the middle which is where I'm much more likely to end up.  As an example I could suggest, say, this starting point on the negative end: "I'm going to die alone on the street, in horrible pain, both physical and mental, from a vicious and incurable disease.  The authorities will just toss my ravaged body into the nearest dumpster."  OK, not too plausible.  Compare this with "I'm going to find 100 million dollars and then start driving my Ferrari down to a local airstrip where my private jet will ferry me around the world."  OK, also implausible.   Both options are possible but unlikely.

I play around with the negative side of things with more intent.  I find that I'm less worried about improving my stake in life - which is pretty goddam good - then I am about the horrible, vicious, agonizing possibilities that I'm sure will befall me.  This is human nature.  We're prone to protecting ourselves against dire outcomes.  There are, of course, lions and tigers and bears out there, Oh My!  But eventually I work myself into a more plausible worst-case scenario and toy around with it for a bit, get comfortable with it, until I reach the stage where I can say: "If that's as bad as it gets then I'm going to be fine."

Finally, finally, finally I have to look for the positive in everything.  It's there.  I can assure you it's there.  I can make almost every situation palatable if I find the positive.