Zooming

Two months ago I had never heard of a video conferencing app called Zoom.  I wish that I had bought a whole shitload of Zoom stock because that is one popular app now.  I have been attending at least one Zoom meeting a day - most of our meetings are now online - since I was hurled into self-isolation, including some meetings three time zones away that were regulars for me in a previous recovery iteration.  It has been wild seeing faces that were a big part of my recovery lo these many years ago.

These meetings are somewhat satisfying.  They're more robust than talking on the phone but not as real as seeing someone in person.  And there is no auditory feedback which can be disorienting - no one is laughing at my hilarious jokes or giving me a robust Amen! at my piercing insights.   My technique over the years is to satisfy a lot of my socializing in the meeting-before-the-meeting and the meeting-after-the-meeting.  I like the easy familiarity, the comfortable back and forth in a one on one conversation.  Often it's more important to me than the meeting itself.  My home group is big and this tends to favor those who like to hold forth in front of a lot of people.  Sometimes these people are interesting and sometimes they're not.  I try to remember this: You are never as interesting to other people as you are to yourself.

I think that I may have some rats living in the crawl space under my house.  I don't want any rats living under my house.  I don't care how many are there.  One is too many.  Zero is the desired number.  I'm dealing with it to the best of my ability which means at this point that I've heaped mountains of rat poison in a lot of places that may offer egress.  We'll see what happens.  Probably I'll rub some rat poison in my eyes and go blind.  The last thing I'll hear before my vision blinks off is the sound of a bunch of rats laughing uproariously.  

This would make a great meeting topic is my point.