El Bano

Compulsive:  Uncontrolled or reactive and unconscious.

There are some things I like better about the places I visit and there are some I like better about my home but I'll tell you what: we dominate in the bathroom department.  Being 6'3" tall with size 13 feet I've had to be a contortionist to do anything associated with showering, something I do compulsively.

In Barcelona the bathroom was sized nicely - commode and washer/dryer in the same room as the shower, which was tall and only remotely tomb-like.  It did not have, however, a door or a shower curtain.  The logic of this escapes me.  It was not possible to shower without unleashing the wellsprings of a new river.  Soggy bathmat at night, in the dark, and socks do not mix.  We supplied our own toilet paper, flimsy and transparent.

In Nimes the shower and sink were in one room, the commode in another, and the washer/dryer combination (both machines were self-contained in one unit) was on the porch.  The shower was the size of a cigar tube - it was not possible for me to maneuver my stork-like arms around to wash my back without either opening the shower door - an occasional liability in this case - or adjusting the flow of water.  Turning off the water was most common although there were instances of scaldings and freezings.

The commode was housed in a room so small that we instituted an open door policy.  I could not get in, position my feet properly, and close the door without an hour of limbering up exercises.  The toilet paper was of an outstanding quality and was abundant.  Half of the selection was pink, however, producing an eery blood-like quality to the toilet water itself.

In St. Remy du Provence we're staying in a very old building that has been converted to contain 3 apartments.  The toilet is in one room and the shower is in a different room clear across the room.  The toilet is electric - yes, electric.  You push a switch to activate the device and it rumbles and growls and thinks, building momentum, before sucking the water down with a mighty vacuuming noise.  It's impressive.

The shower room has a shower pit, with the water supplied through a flexible metal hose.  This I do not get - why not hang the shower head from the wall?  Nothing like turning the water on and unleashing a blast of water against a non-shower wall.  The whole bathing procedure involves wetting down a section of body, lathering furiously, and rinsing.  There is no luxuriating under a stream of hot water.  If the idea is to save water and the energy required to heat the water the whole thing is a colossal failure because all of the switching between using the water hose, lathering, etc, etc. takes like twice as long.

That, my friends, is that.